A UCLA survey from a few years ago, reported that the average one year old child hears the word, ‘No!’ more than 400 times a day!
You, like me, may, at first, think that this must be an exaggeration but pause to ponder this…when we tell a toddler ‘No’ we usually say,’ No, no, no!’ which is actually three times in three seconds – reinforcing that rather negative message.
If your child is particularly active, curious, inquisitive and daring perhaps your child really does hear ‘NO’ loads of times a day & although it’s a good thing that they come to understand ‘NO’ early on to stay safe in dangerous situations (so that they can live to celebrate a second birthday 🙂 the bottom line is that toddlers, from all cultures & backgrounds, learn how to behave by constantly being told what not to do.
It can become a persistently negative way to raise a happy, confident toddler, child and teenager.
It really can damage their self-confidence and self-esteem long term.
Your toddler obviously grows up & becomes a teenager, and an adult, who goes to work and then becomes a parent …and the pattern of speaking and learning is repeated over and over again without anyone even being aware of it!
So, what can you do?
It’s always more powerful, influential and persuasive to say what you do want rather than what you don’t want.
So just for this week notice how you speak your kids, to your partner, to your mother in law 🙂 and of course, to yourself inside your own head, and make a small change that will make a BIG difference to your family life going forward!
Let me know how you get on!
Let’s learn, laugh and enjoy the adventure TOGETHER J