I’ve been catching up on ‘Coldfeet’ before the new season starts as I never watched it the first time it was on, and what strikes me watching and following the lives of these 3 couples is just how untidy life can be.
Relationships are never easy at the best of times. Despite all our best efforts, hopes, dreams and expectations, sometimes our ducks really don’t seem to line up the way we’d hoped they would.
Partners play away, children take their toll on relationships, boredom, routine and predicability erode the closeness of pulling together, and sometimes couples simply grow apart over time.
I work with many couples going through relationship difficulties as well as working with couples going through divorce and struggling to co-parent positively.
But here are some of the signs of trouble I’ve noticed in many of the couples I have worked with over the years, as well as some of the signs I experienced myself after being married for 22 years.
If you notice that you feel that your relationship may be drifting don’t be too ‘British’ about asking for help, support and advice. It takes courage to work at your relationship so don’t bury your head in the sand. Start to talk about your feelings and don’t build up resentment because that’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! It eats into you and can make you bitter and angry which won’t help or move your relationship forward.
Couples can make it through the transition of change and a rebirth in their relationships but it does take self awareness and the will to work at it.
The top 10 signs that may mean you’re heading for divorce
1 If you feel resentment towards your partner and are not willing to talk about it, look at it, or address the underlying cause of your resentment (which is usually mixed up with anger & feeling put upon.)
2 If you start to have feelings for someone else other than your partner.
3 If you prefer it when your partner is out for the evening.
4 If you no longer want to have sex with your partner.
5 If you have lost trust in your relationship or your partner.
6. You no longer look forward to holidays or weekends away together and need other people’s company.
7. You discover you no longer respect your partner.
8. You begin to find it difficult to visualise growing old together, particularly when the children have left home.
9. You find you are noticing more of your partners faults than their strengths.
10. You feel trapped.
If you’d like to work with me, or know someone who would benefit from speaking with me here’s my ‘Handling Life’s Transitions and Changes’ Coaching Programme