One of my obsessions and challenges when I was recovering from the shock of my divorce was my fear around money.
I’m not alone as I coach many, many women going through a divorce, separation or break up, and their biggest fear, by far, is their fear about their finances all mixed up with their fear about what the break up will do to their children, mixed up with where will they will live, how will they juggle working and childcare, to how do they fix a leak in the house or sort out a flat tyre, to how do they get a competitive quote for house insurance, will the kids see their Grandma, to how will they face it when he gets a serious partner, to will they meet another serious partner and be happy again.
The pain, anxiety and fear goes on and on, particularly at 3am in the morning.
So I found this quote from Sarah Ban Breathnack really reassuring in her excellent book “Peace and Plenty” and I hope it helps you too, as it personalises money, which really helped me see money in a different light.
I have been on Tony Robbins courses on “Wealth Mastery” learning how to work the Stock Market that left me feeling worse. I’ve been on T. Harv Eker courses where he taught me about jars to save in and to save for serious things like Home Insurance to jars to save in for “Fun” activities like a bottle of Chardonnay and a pair of shoes.
But I still battled my fear around running out of money, not having enough money, losing my money or squandering my money. Some of it totally irrational and some of it because of what happened to me.
So here is the quote and if I can help you at all in finding clarity, direction and confidence in the very important decisions you are currently making that will affect your future and the futures of your children, please just give me a call as you are NOT alone and I am here to support, nurture and champion you through the very harrowing time of divorce. Call me on 01883 818329 or email me at [email protected]
“I tell Money that I love her. I love the sense of order she brings to my life, the luxuries, the distractions. I loved being able to give to family and friends super gifts. I told Money how she made things easier, faster, more stylish, and initially, more fun. Money opens doors to more choices, more decisions, more temptations, and the real possibility of more (and more expensive) mistakes. Fun vacations and designer clothes. Homes worthy of magazine spreads; parties they’re still talking about. Education for your children or yourself with no student loans for your loved ones. New business opportunities. Charitable work that makes you feel blessed and humbled when you see what good has passed through your hands to help others. Money does all that.
“Well if you love me so much, why do you keep giving me away?” Money said defensively. “Why don’t you hold on to me and love me, cherish me, look after me, and protect me in the same way that I wanted to love, cherish, and protect you? Stop letting me go! I don’t want to see you at risk, frightened, fragile, and vulnerable. My job is to take care of you Sarah. But you are making my job impossible. We have to cooperate.”
Then Money said to me, “Why don’t we discuss it every day ? A real conversation – a heart to heart. Let’s work on bringing solvency back into your life, one choice, one decision, one pound at a time – together.”
And I said “Yes my love – let’s”