A bad marriage can make parenting and life in general stressful. The loss of the family structure can be very upsetting and distressing for everyone involved in the major change.
Despite divorce being on the increase around the world, parents often feel at a loss when searching for practical support. They also feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, resentful, or completely frozen in panic about how to handle the changes in their family’s way of life.
Sometimes this fear manifests itself as animosity, which turns the whole divorce process into a battle, with children trapped in the middle and feeling powerless.
Remember: Divorce needn’t be like this. Parents can make positive, healthy choices during this very emotional time and make the transition less painful for everyone.
Presenting a united front: Telling the kids
I’ve worked with many parents going through divorce and one of the main worries is how to tell their children about what is going to happen and what to actually say to them.
Children naturally fear that they’ll lose one of their parents in divorce or that their parents will abandon them. They also fear the changes and disruptions that divorce inevitably brings to their family. Children often blame themselves.
When a marriage becomes troubled, a couple often relies on old habits of interacting, which lead to fights rather than solutions. If those old habits didn’t lead to constructive solutions during the marriage, they’ll surely reap no better results during the divorce.
Bitter fights in the divorce courts often stem from these old ways of handling differences.
You may not have been a united front while married, but you and your partner must take this opportunity for the good of your children to work together.
Understanding and identifying these stages can be very helpful when you’re talking about divorce and deciding how to nurture your children through this difficult time. Identifying your present stage of grief and being aware of it is an important step toward ensuring that you make the best choices you can.
I will help you to create a powerful One Page Profile specifically designed to support your children through this traumatic time in their lives – this video will show you how this wonderful exercise is already working in schools and can be adapted to nurture your children positively through this transition and time of enormous change.
SPLIT is a deeply personal film made in collaboration with children aged 6-12, exploring the often frightening and always life-altering separation of their parents.
SPLIT is made exclusively from the point of view of the children . . . no adults, no experts . . . just kids speaking the powerful truth of what is on their minds and in their hearts as their families change.
To find out more go to http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1074778576/split-a-film-for-and-by-kids-of-divorce