“So what do you do?”
Ever has someone say that to you at a dinner party, school event or business event?
Just ponder and reflect on that question for a moment…
What does it bring up for you?
I was invited to attend the Home Renaissance Foundation International Conference on Excellence in the Home event in London this week.
Dr Sergio Belardinelli from the University of Bologna spoke about the importance of the Home in the lives of children, and asked why parents were embarrassed to say that they were housewives/ househusbands or stay at home parents.
So what does the word FAMILY mean to you?
What does being part of a family mean to you?
How has your family influenced you, nurtured you, encouraged you, damaged you?
You only have to ask yourself – who was there to pick you up from a late night party, give you a bit of “extra” money when you’d run out, or sorted things out when you got into trouble or made mistakes.
Or who was there to get you over a broken -heart, a messy divorce or there encouraging you on the side lines on a frozen cold January morning when you were playing netball?
Who taught you to ride a bike, roller skate or drive a car?
And whose always there believing in you and encouraging you when life is overwhelming and challenging?
Your family is your rock in a very fast -paced, hectic world of change – it’s your anchor in the stormy seas and choppy waters of growing up.
And that’s why for me it’s so important.
It’s from this centre that children thrive and go on to believe in their dreams and make a success of their lives – whatever that means for them.
It’s like a ripple in a pond – each generation building on the other.
So grab a cup of coffee and a pen and ponder ….
How do you bond with your children/
How do you encourage your children?
How do you praise your children?
How much time do you spend eating with them, talking with them, playing with them, listening to them and laughing with them every day?
What family traditions do you have – watching a film on a Friday night with a take – away and a bowl of popcorn, walking the dogs on a Saturday morning, riding bikes on Summer holidays and eating Sunday lunches together every week?
I’m a great believer in creating your own family traditions because they build memories that last a lifetime and they build the bonds of love, respect, self esteem and confidence in family life.
I’ve been watching Jamie Oliver’s Dream School with great interest as the students and young people appear to have fragmented family lives, poor parental role models and they seem to lack positive, strong, influential family support.
Being part of a family means many things. and families come in all shapes and sizes, from “traditional families” step –families, one parent families, same sex families to grandparental families.
But what they all share is a profound and meaningful connection and a place where children can feel safe, secure, nurtured, loved and cared for as well as cherished. They can experience support and unconditional love and family life is the base from which children can flourish, grow and blossom.
I jotted down what a happy, nurturing home provides and the list is endless:
Why don’t you do the same and see what it brings up for you.
On my Parenting Made Easy workshops I get parents to write job description for being a Parent !
It’s amazing what you have to master from chief bottle washer, to money manager …..
It’s also a 24/7 job with very little recognition !
But the point of doing this is to help you realise just how important your role is.
Children who come from strong families do better at school, feel better about themselves and have better self esteem and they also grow up able to withstand Life’s ups and downs and challenges better. They also go on to create strong, happy families themselves – like a ripple in a pond.
So the next time someone asks you:
“So what do you do?”
Hopefully you will see that you are not just defined by your work – and that you have one of the most important jobs in the world !
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How to give your kids the gift of self-esteem by clicking here
About the author
Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert who offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children. She is also the author of “Raising Happy Children for Dummies” one in the famous black and yellow series published worldwide and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She regularly appears on BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2 and her parenting articles are published all over the world.
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Sue Atkins the Parenting Expert
T: + 44 1342 833355 M: 07740 622769
Surrey RH7 6LF